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Real story—friend, let’s call him Bob, total nerd, wanted “company.” Found a gal, “Candy,” $200/hour. Met at a motel—shady, neon buzzing, pure *Zodiac* vibes. “I want to know everything!” Bob says, channeling Ruffalo. Candy’s like, “Cash first, creep.” He’s fumbling, I’m cackling—amateur hour! She was legit tho, ex-stripper, told us about busts in Vegas. Cops raided her old spot, 1998, hid in a dumpster—wild, right? Little known fact: pros dodge taxes, cash-only life. IRS hates ‘em!

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little café on Markt. You know, the one with the weirdly shaped croissants? Yeah, that one. I’m chugging my caffeine like it’s the elixir of life, and I’m already feeling the buzz.

Fortuna Sittard's Alen Halilovic out for rest of the season