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About Groningen

Oh, and quirks? I talk to meself—out loud—swipin’. “She’s fit, nah, too posh!” Drives me mad, but it works. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But sex-dating’s nuts—Godard’d dig it. “Words kill images,” he says. Here, pics kill words—dick pics, boob shots, no chat. Savage, mate! We swears! Try it, but don’t blame me!

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Then, I get a call from some lady on the Molenstraat. She’s all panicked, saying her kids saw a rat in the garden. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a garden. There’s bound to be some critters.” But I go anyway. When I get there, I see the kids, all wide-eyed, pointing at a bush. I’m thinking, “This better not be a prank.”

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