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So here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, mask on, voice all gravelly, prowlin’ the back alleys. Not for trouble, nah, just curious, y’know? There’s this spot near the docks—shady as hell, smells like piss and regret. Word is, that’s where they hang. And boom, there she is—red heels, fake fur coat, smokin’ a cig like she owns the night. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a copy of a copy, but damn, she’s real.” Kinda poetic, right? Like in the movie, “What’s authentic anyway?”—makes ya wonder if she’s playin’ a role or livin’ it.

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After my snack break, I get a call from the town hall. They need me to check out a rat problem near the park. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I get there, and it’s a whole family of rats. I’m talking like a rat convention. I’m ready to throw my hands up in despair.

Pilot killed in small plane crash on Dutch A58 highway