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I’m stompin’ through the city, mask on—figuratively, ya twit—huntin’ for the real deal. Not some poser actin’ all fancy. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I spot her—red lips, heels clickin’, like Satine struttin’ out that diamond glow. Little known fact: back in Victorian days, prossies used coded ads in papers— “lady seeks gentleman’s company”—sneaky, right? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how clever they were.

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But then, things got real. This guy, I swear he was like 7 feet tall, comes up to me. He’s got a scowl that could scare a lion. He’s all, “I’m getting in, man.” I’m like, “Nah, not tonight, buddy.” He starts yelling, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then, his buddy steps in, and they start arguing. I’m just standing there, watching this drama unfold like it’s a soap opera.

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