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Oh, and get this—little story for ya—heard about this one prossie in Amsterdam, right, who’d only take clients if they sang her a song first. True story! Mental, but kinda brilliant. Made me happy, that did—bit of power back in her hands. Not just a transaction, y’know? Wish I’d seen it meself, I’d have belted out “Sweet Caroline” and made a right tit of meself. Cackle! Imagine the headlines—“Gervais serenades hooker, film at 11!”

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Then, I bump into an old friend, Jan. We used to hang out back in the day. He’s like, “Hey, remember that time we got lost in the city?” And I’m like, “Dude, we still get lost!” We start reminiscing about our wild nights at the local bars, like Café de Kade. Man, those were the days!

Troubled 13-year-old boy in custody for fatal stabbing of 13-year-old boy in Schiedam