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About Myself
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So, Jade’s got this vibe—tough, but brittle. Saw her once, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she’s in a noir film. Hilarious, right? Like, “Oh, I’m so mysterious!”—bitch, please, it’s 2 a.m., you’re froze as fuck! But nah, real talk—she’s got guts. Takes balls to dodge creeps and cops nightly. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes dyed their hair blonde—stood out, y’know? Wonder if Jade knows that, rockin’ her fake platinum wig.
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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m like, “No way, dude!” I chase after it, flailing my arms like a madman. People are staring, laughing. I’m just a violin maker, not a bird wrangler!
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