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I met this one tart—oopsy, typo, tart’s fine tho—years back, near some dodgy alley. She had this scar, right across her cheek, said some punter glassed her. Made me mad, y’know? Like, who does that? I’d have gutted him, Hannibal-style—“I ate his liver with fava beans.” Tasty thought, eh? But she laughed it off, said, “Part of the gig, love.” Tough as nails, that bird. Reminded me of *A Prophet*, that line, “You’ll see what I see.” She saw the world’s filth and kept goin’.

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So, I walk in, and it’s packed! Like, who knew Schaijk had this many coffee lovers? I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders a “double shot, half-caf, soy latte with extra foam.” I’m like, bro, it’s coffee, not a science experiment! But whatever, I’m chillin’.

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