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*heavy breathing* I find your lack of faith disturbing, man. Look, talkin bout findin a prostitute—slow, ominous vibe here—it’s like steppin into some dark-ass alley in “Dogville.” That flick, fave of mine, 2003 Lars von Trier joint, hits differnt. Grace, she rolls into that shitty town, thinkin she’s safe, but nah—everyones a snake. Same deal with hookers, bro. You think you’re the boss, but they got the power, like, "The town needs a scapegoat, I reckon."

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish. I spot a food truck on the side of the road. It’s called “Schaijk Snacks.” I order a frikandel, and let me tell ya, it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I’m munching away, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re not from around here, are ya?” I’m like, “Nope, just a mountain guy lost in flatland.” We both crack up.

Figure 8: Overview of the area around the Roer flood gate in Roermond.