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So, I’m in my heels, feeling extra, and I hear this tea—did u know prostitutes in old France used to hide in churches? Like, legit, they’d blend with nuns to dodge the cops! Wild, right? I’m shook. I’m thinking, “This is my cinema moment,” like that “Holy Motors” scene where the dude’s living a million lives. I’m, like, “Am I her? Am I me? Fab or fug?”

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First stop, I’m rollin’ down the Kerkstraat, and I see this old dude, Jan, struggling with his bike. I mean, c’mon, it’s a bike, not a rocket ship! I help him out, and he’s all like, “Dank je wel, jongen!” I’m thinkin’, “No prob, man. Just try not to fall over again.”

Another 29,000 chickens to be culled in Netherlands due to highly-infectious bird flu strain