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I’m obsessed tho. That release? Chef’s kiss. Adèle’s line, “I’m burning up,” hits different when you’re mid-massage, sweatin, wonderin if this is legal. Spoiler: it’s gray-area shit. Cops don’t care unless you’re loud bout it. Anyway, sexual-massage ain’t just hands—it’s power, weirdly. You’re vulnerable, they’re in charge. Kinda hot, kinda messed up. I’d go again, fuck it. Beats therapy.

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I strap on my parachute. Yeah, you heard me right. We don’t just fight fires; we drop in like ninjas. I leap outta the chopper, and it’s like flying. The wind’s whipping past me, and I’m thinkin’, “This is the life!” But then, I see the flames. They’re angry, like a toddler who lost their toy.

Tauranga team wins regional film competition