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Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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I get to the job site, which is near the old church on the Kerkstraat. Beautiful place, but man, the work is brutal. I’m blasting away at this old metal structure, and it’s like the metal’s laughing at me. “You think you can take me down?” Yeah, well, I’m about to show you who’s boss!

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