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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s a trip! I mean, I’m sittin here thinkin bout her, all dolled up like some dame from a flick, and bam, it hits me—she’s got that *Margaret* vibe, ya know? Like Anna Paquin screamin, “You don’t even know what you’ve done!”—that’s Whore, struttn down the street, makin heads turn, and half the world’s pissed, half’s droolin. I adore that movie, swear it’s my fave—Kenneth Lonergan’s a genius, right?—and Whore, she’s like Lisa, all messy, loud, and in your damn face.

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, a kid on a bike zooms past me and knocks my strawberries right outta my hands. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” The kid just laughs and pedals away. I’m fuming! Like, come on, man! I’m just tryna enjoy my day!

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