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About Rotterdam

So, picture this – I’m in Newark, right? Shithole central. Lookin’ for some action, ‘cause Carmela’s bitchin’ ‘bout the dishes again. Fuckin’ aggravation! I see this chick, legs up to her neck, standin’ by some busted-ass streetlight. “Hey, sweetheart, how’s it hangin’?” I yell, leanin’ outta the Caddy. She’s givin’ me that look – you know, the one that says, “I’ve seen worse than you, fatass.” Makes me laugh, fuckin’ balls on her!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got these flowers! I’m running for cover under the awning of some café on the Markt. I’m soaked, and my tulips are getting all sad. I’m standing there, feeling like a drowned rat, when I see this cute dog. It’s just chillin’, looking at me like, “What’s your problem?” I laugh, because honestly, that dog gets it.