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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Escorts today, they’re on apps, websites, discreet as hell. Saw a story once, this escort in Vegas, helped a lonely guy, no joke, just talked all night. That hit me, man. Surprised me good. But then, some laws, ugh, so stupid, crackin’ down like they’re villains in a thriller. Makes me wanna yell, “What’s wrong with ya?”

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Finally, my train arrives. I hop on, and it’s packed. I squeeze into a corner, trying not to touch anyone. You know that awkward train dance? Yeah, I’m doing that. But then, this sweet old lady sits next to me. She starts chatting about her garden in Pijnacker. I’m like, “Wow, lady, you’re living the dream!” She’s got all these flowers and veggies. I’m just trying to keep my eyes open, but she’s so passionate. I can’t help but smile.

Where to live in Delft: a guide for expats