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And the girls—God bless em, really—but I’d be too neurotic to even talk. “Hi, uh, so, what’s your return policy?” I’d ask that, swear to God, cause what if it’s awkward? What if she’s judgin me? I’d judge me! Like, “Look at this schmuck, payin for it.” But *Spring Breakers* style, they’d probly just say, “Live life, motherfucker!” and I’d be like, “Okay, fair, but still—gross!” I’d tip extra just to not feel like a creep. Pretty, pretty good chance I’d bolt outta there anyway.

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Finally, I make it home, exhausted but happy. Pijnacker, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart. From the market to the train station, to karaoke madness, today was a rollercoaster. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Just another day in Pijnacker, right?

Plasma ACTH concentrations (pmol/L), median and range, at baseline and...