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What ticks me off? The liars, mate. One swore she was fresh as a daisy—hah! Smelled like a wharf rat’s arse. Made me wanna keelhaul ‘er, but I just swaggered off, mutterin’, “Why is the rum gone?” ‘Cause aye, rum’s me true love—prossies just borrow me fer a night, savvy?
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After that, I think, “Okay, chill time.” But nope! A lady walks in with a parrot. A freakin’ parrot! It’s squawking like it’s auditioning for a rock band. I’m trying to talk to the lady, but the bird keeps interrupting. “Polly wants a cracker!” it screams. I’m like, “Polly wants to be quiet!”
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