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I’d be all, “Hey, lady, got any stock tips?” And she’s like, “Honey, I got somethin’ better!” That’s what she said! Oh, man, I’d laugh so hard I’d cry. Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact, ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred stuff! Wild, right? Makes me happy thinkin’ bout history, but also mad—why’s it still a thing? Society, man, so messed up.

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Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I fix it. Mr. Jansen’s face lights up like a kid on Christmas. I’m feeling like a hero, right? But then, just as I’m about to bask in my glory, the door swings open. It’s a bunch of kids from the school down the street. They’re loud, rowdy, and one of ‘em trips and knocks over my display. Clocks go flying! I’m about to lose it. I mean, come on!

Table 5. Hiatus resolution resulting in vowel lengthening in Luganda