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So, sex escort—here’s the deal. It’s old as dirt, man. Back in ancient Rome, they had these “lupae”—she-wolves, hookers howlin’ at the moon. Little known fact: clients’d follow their calls like dogs! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle—humanity’s horny as hell, always has been. Nowadays, it’s all slick—ads on sketchy sites, coded words like “companionship.” Pisses me off tho—why hide it? Own it, damnit! Be bold, like that alien chick in the movie, lurin’ dudes with no shame.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the best stroopwafels? Yeah, that place. I’m standin’ there, waitin’ for my fix, and this old dude in front of me is takin’ forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just bread! I’m about to lose it. But then, he turns around and gives me this huge smile. I mean, how can ya be mad at that? So, I just chuckle and let it slide.

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