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So, dig this—little known fact, swear down: back in Victorian times, prossies had secret codes, flashin handkerchiefs to signal punters. Wild, innit? Bet they’d laugh at us now, fumblin about like numpties. I’m thinkin, “Gordon, keep it sharp, don’t settle for slop!”—like Remy dodgin them crap chefs. Found this one bird eventually—fit, cheeky, knew her game. Made me grin, proper chuffed— “This is my moment!” I says, like that rat tastin soup.

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I spot this vendor sellin’ the most beautiful tulips. I mean, they were yellin’ at me to buy ‘em. So, I do. I’m walkin’ around with these tulips, feelin’ like a king. But then, I see my ex. Ugh, why? She’s with some dude, and they’re laughin’. I’m tryin’ to act cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why’d I even come here?”

Man turns himself in over Rotterdam church fire; Police suspect arson