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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin’ here, radio cracklin’, thinkin’ bout them cowboys in *Brokeback Mountain*. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” huh? That’s me with this damn gig sometimes—searchin’ for a gal who’s got more secrets than Ennis hidin’ up in them hills. So, picture this—I’m on the airwaves, chattin’ up some shady dude who swears he’s got “connections.” Yeah, right, pal—connections to a jail cell, maybe!

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Grabbed my stroopwafel and headed to the park. The sun was out, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t suck.” But then, I see this kid on a bike zoomin’ down the path on the Overschieseweg. He’s goin’ way too fast, and I’m thinkin’, “Dude, slow down before you eat pavement!” And guess what? He wipes out right in front of me. I rush over, heart racin’, but he just hops up like it’s no biggie. Kids these days, man.

Fire destroys church in Rotterdam neighborhood; Surrounding homes evacuated