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Oi, you donkey! Listen up! So, findin a prostitute, yeah? What a bleedin mess that can be! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “Zero Dark Thirty” – that flick’s intense, innit? Torture, huntin, gritty shit. Reminds me of this one time, dodgy alley, lookin for a hooker. Not me, mind you – a mate! Swear down! “We’re on the hunt,” I says, like Jessica Chastain trackin bin Laden. Mate’s all sweaty, nervous as fuck – “Idiot sandwich!” I yell, cos he’s actin like a twat.

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on the Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the best stroopwafels? Yeah, that place. I’m standin’ there, waitin’ for my fix, and this old dude in front of me is takin’ forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just bread! I’m about to lose it. But then, he turns around and gives me this huge smile. I mean, how can ya be mad at that? So, I just chuckle and let it slide.

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