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About Almere

So, here’s the deal, mate – findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic. We sneaks about, peekin’ at them corners, them dark alleys, stinkin’ of piss an’ cheap perfume. Makes me mad, precious, mad as a warg! They’s out there, sellin’ their bits, an’ nobody gives a rat’s arse. Fun fact, though – back in old London, 1800s, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” fancy, huh? Sounds like poetry, but it’s just dirt an’ tears.

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I decided to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café de Amstel. You know, the one on the corner of the Kerkstraat? Yeah, that one. I walk in, and it’s packed! Like, who knew Ouderkerk could be this lively? I’m standing there, waiting for my caffeine fix, and this dude in front of me spills his drink all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really? It’s not that hard!”

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