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It’s all handsy, slow rubs, dim lights. Bit posh, bit dodgy—love that mix! “Be quiet,” I’d mutter, like in the film, shushin’ meself, heh! Little fact: some spas sneak in “extras”—nudge, wink—cheeky sods! Surprised me first time, jaw dropped, oil drippin’ off me nose! Not sayin’ I tried, but… nah, I did, bloody brilliant!

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So, I’m limping around, trying to shake it off. I see this old dude selling flowers. He’s got the biggest smile, right? I’m like, “Dude, what’s your secret?” He just winks and says, “Life’s too short for frowns.” I mean, I get it, but I’m still nursing my bruised ego.

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