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She’s got this spark, tho—tells me she once conned a CEO outta 500 bucks, laughed her ass off. I’m crackin’ up too—good for her! Screw those suits! “The heart bends toward what it loves,” Varda says in the flick, and damn, I’m lovin’ her grit. But then—boom—some yacht prick yells at her, “Get lost, trash!” Oh, I’m pissed now! I holler back, “You get lost, ya greedy bastard!” Nearly tipped my board flippin’ him off.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Ouddorp Museum. I’m thinking, “Let’s get cultured.” But it’s closed! Like, seriously? I’m standing there, staring at the locked door, feeling all kinds of betrayed. I mean, who closes a museum on a Saturday?

First Frieslanders harvested in Ouddorp