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One time, I almost got tangled up—swear on my auntie’s gravy! Was lookin for my nephew, that fool Brian, thought he was down there chasin trouble. Saw this gal wink at me, I said, “Honey, Madea don’t swing that way!” She laughed, said, “You too old anyway!” Ooh, I was hot! But then I chuckled, ‘cause she was right—I ain’t spry no more! Halleluyer!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I see this old dude, Jan, who’s always hangin’ around. He’s got this wild beard, looks like he’s been lost in the woods for a decade. He starts tellin’ me about his cat, Minoes. Apparently, Minoes caught a mouse, and Jan’s all proud. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a cat. That’s what they do.” But hey, it made me chuckle.

Unveiling of plaque and mural at Antoni van Leeuwenhoek's birthplace