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Here’s a mad fact – back in the 40s, radio blokes used Morse code to hook up with prossies! Dot-dot-dash, “Fancy a quickie?” – mental, innit? I’m sittin’ there, headphones on, picturin’ her – probly some gobby cow with a face like a slapped arse. Makes me angry, don’t it? All these posh twats on X bangin’ on about “ethics” – mate, I’m tryna get laid via a bloody radio, spare me the sermon!

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Then, outta nowhere, I spot this kid. He’s like, 10 or something, and he’s got my raft! I’m like, “Yo, kid! That’s mine!” He just stares at me, wide-eyed, like I’m some kinda monster. Turns out, he thought it was abandoned. I mean, come on! I’m not a monster, just a raftsman! I’m all ready to give him a lecture about property rights, but then he smiles. And it’s this goofy, innocent smile. I can’t stay mad. So, I just laugh it off. “Alright, buddy, let’s share it.”

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