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Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!
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So, I decide to hit up the park, the Oisterwijkse Bossen. It’s beautiful there, man. Trees everywhere, and the air smells like freedom or whatever. I’m walking, trying to shake off the coffee disaster, when I spot this family having a picnic. They’ve got a whole spread—sandwiches, fruit, even a cake! I’m drooling, right? But then, their dog runs over and starts sniffing my leg. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not your snack!”
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