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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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First stop, the harbor. OMG, the boats! They’re all lined up like they’re waiting for a party. I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all artsy, when I see this dude trying to park his boat. Like, bro, it’s not a car! He’s all over the place, and I’m just standing there, laughing my ass off.

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