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Alright, check this out, man! Me, Tony Montana, sittin’ here as yo Office Manager, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know? Say hello to my little friend! I’m talkin’ bout that sweet hustle, right? Ain’t no boring day when you got needs, chico! My fave flick, “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford,” got me thinkin’ deep bout this shit. Like, “Everythin’ I have is in my eyes,” that’s what I tell myself when I’m scoutin’ the streets, lookin’ for that action.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on de Zijdstraat. It’s a cute little place, selling all sorts of knick-knacks. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange with feathers. I can’t resist. I buy it, thinking, “This’ll be a great story later.” Spoiler: it was.

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