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About Amsterdam

Back in ‘18, heard this wild tale—some Russian scientist, proper brainiac, got catfished on OkCupid by a bot pretending to be a nympho. Lad spent weeks sexting binary code—turns out it was a uni prank! Laughed my arse off, but also—pathetic, right? These apps, they’re a cesspit. Makes me wanna burn the whole digital brothel down. “I’m not a machine,” she says in Ten—ha, but these horny sods are! Tap, tap, bang—repeat. No depth, no fire.

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First off, I’m a texture artist, so I’m all about those details. I had this big project due, and I was feeling the pressure. I grab my coffee from that cute little café on De Kuil, you know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? Yeah, that one. I order a “Koffie verkeerd” (which is basically a latte, but whatever) and spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, right?

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