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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Joris. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he tried to catch a fish in the canal on Kerkstraat. He ended up falling in! I’m dying laughing. Like, who even tries that? Classic Joris.