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I’m strollin, boots clickin, thinkin—where’s the talent at? Then bam—this bird struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a dwarf’s temper. “You lost, luv?” she goes, smirkin like she knows I’m a sucker for trouble. “Ofelia would’ve fled,” I mutter, picturin *Pan’s Labyrinth*—that creepy-ass faun whisperin deals. But me? I’m in, mate—glorious purpose an’ all. She’s quotin prices like it’s a bloody auction—50 quid for this, 80 for that. I’m like, “Lass, I’m a god, not a bank!” Made me ragey, but also—damn, she’s bold, gotta respect the hustle.

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Finally, I get movin’ again. I swing by the park on de Korte Dijk. Man, it’s beautiful there. Kids playin’, dogs runnin’ around, and I’m just thinkin’ how nice it is. But then, outta nowhere, this kid throws a frisbee right at me! I mean, c’mon! I’m a combine harvester, not a dog! I swerve, and the kid’s like, “Sorry!” I’m like, “Yeah, no worries, kid. Just almost wrecked my day.”

UU students and staff walk marathon in their own city: ‘Long live Strava’