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About Groningen

So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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I chase after the kid, but he’s too fast. I’m yelling, “Hey! Come back with my flowers!” But he just laughs and runs off. I’m left there, feeling like a total loser. Great start to the day, right?

‘Long hours, yelling and bad salary’ almost made chef quit career