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Found this one gal—fuckin’ stunner, legs for days. She’s all, “Cash upfront, sailor boy.” I’m thinkin’, “What am I doing here?” like in *Caché*—that creepy vibe, yeah? Gave her the dosh, but I’m sweatin’—is she dodgy? Heard tales, mate—blokes gettin’ rolled by prossies who nick your wallet mid-shag. One sailor, swear down, woke up missin’ a kidney—fuckin’ wild!

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So, I decide to grab a bite at this little place called De Gouden Leeuw. Best fries in town, no cap! I’m munching away, trying to shake off the annoyance, when I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about... wait for it... the best way to cook a potato. I mean, come on! It’s a potato! Just fry it! But they’re going back and forth like it’s the most important debate in history. I’m just sitting there, fries in hand, thinking, “This is Lichtenvoorde, folks. We’ve got bigger fish to fry!”

Dutch driver had become unwell behind the wheel before causing fatal crash in Düsseldorf