Claire Leiderdorp Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️

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Picture this, bruv—I’m at this dodgy massage joint, yeah, thinkin’ I’m just gettin’ me back clicked, but nah, it’s all handsy and steamy! I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?” ‘cos the geezer’s givin’ me these mad looks while he’s oilin’ me up. Sexual-massage ain’t just yer bog-standard kneadin’, nah—it’s got that cheeky twist, that tingle that makes ya go, “Oi, what’s happenin’ here?!” Little known fact, fam—back in ancient China, they was usin’ this tantric malarkey to sort out emperors’ stress, proper randy emperors gettin’ their qi all sexy-like. Mad, innit?

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I get to the market, and it’s packed. I’m dodging people left and right. There’s this old lady selling flowers, and she’s got the biggest smile. I can’t help but smile back. Then, I spot this food stall with the best stroopwafels. I mean, who can resist that? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

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