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*Almost Famous* tho—Penny Lane’s all “It’s all happening!” while she’s bangin’ rockstars. Prostitutes here’d laugh at that— “Happening? Aye, happenin’ to me arse all night!” Makes me wonder, them old tales—Cleopatra, right? Rolled outta a carpet, seduced Caesar. Top-tier prossie move, that! Bet she charged a kingdom for a tumble. Surprised me, how they’ve always been ‘round—history’s full of ‘em, hidden in plain sight.

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So, I head over to the Rijn, where I usually dive. The water’s looking pretty chill, but the vibe? Not so much. I’m getting ready, and outta nowhere, this dude on a bike zooms past me. He’s yelling something about “watch out!” I look around, and there’s a freaking swan charging at me! Like, what’s up with that? I’m not here for a wildlife showdown, man!

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