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Ay! Respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, I’m pissed already! This world’s goin’ to crap, like in *Melancholia*—you know, that flick where Kirsten Dunst just stares at the damn planet crashin’ down? “I know things,” she says, all gloomy. Well, I know stuff too, assholes! Like, did ya know back in old Rome, hookers wore blonde wigs to stand out? Freakin’ wild, right?

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on De Wetering. Best croissants ever! I grab one, and it’s still warm. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a good day.” But then, BAM! I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess.

Van Leesten, Katz score big goals in overtime win over UNE