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Thing is, escort’s a hustle. Some do it for kicks, some for quid. Blows me mind how they switch it up—sweet one sec, then cold as ice. Like Marlin in *Nemo*, all stressed, then bam, he’s ridin’ turtles! Escorts got that flex. Ever tried bookin’ one? Me neither, but I reckon it’s like orderin’ chips—ya pick ya flavor, but don’t piss ‘em off or ya get no salt, fam!

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First off, I’m wandering around the streets, and I’m like, “Where the heck am I?” I mean, I got off at the wrong train station. Classic me. I was supposed to hit up Groningen, but nope, Leek it is. So I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, and it’s all cute and stuff. Like, I could totally see myself living here. But then, bam! I trip over a cobblestone. Seriously, who thought that was a good idea? I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna break my ankle in a town no one knows.”

Trees to be felled in Leek park after surveys