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Escort’s dodgy, yeah? Not cars, nah, people—hired mates for lonely sods or bigwigs needing arm candy. Me, I’ve wired up vans for ‘em once, hissss, tiny mics, sneaky cams—caught a geezer yelling, “I paid for quiet!” Made me cackle, it did! Gollum sees the muck, the glitter too—some escorts, they’re posh, all “I’m too good,” but others, rough as old boots, spitting mad. Reminds me of Eilis in “Brooklyn,” torn ‘twixt homes, “You’ll feel so homesick,” she’s told—escorts, they’re homesick for normal, I reckon.

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First off, I’m cruising down the Hoofdweg, right? Just me and my coffee, feeling all chill. Then BAM! Roadwork everywhere! Like, c’mon, can’t a person get to work without detours? I mean, I get it, roads gotta be fixed, but why today? Why now? I was already late, and my boss is a total stickler for time.

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