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About Myself
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Exaggeratin’ for effect? Bet. Felt like she massaged my soul outta my body. I’m floatin’, seein’ stats in the sky—death rates droppin’, ‘cause I’m too zen to die. “If you leave here, I’ll find you,” I’m thinkin’—nah, I ain’t leavin’ this table, ever. Deadpan absurdism, tho—imagine me, Hannibal Buress, butt-naked, goin’, “This is my actuary origin story.” Laughin’ at my own dumb ass.
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First stop, I’m at the park on de Klinkerweg. Beautiful trees, man. I’m talkin’ oaks, willows, the whole shebang. But then, I see this massive branch hangin’ by a thread. Like, c’mon, nature! You gotta do better! So, I climb up, and as I’m up there, I’m thinkin’, “What if I fall? What if I land on some poor dude’s bike?”
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