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I see this one gal, all sass, leanin on a wall. “What’s your name?” I holler, flexin a bit—can’t help it, brother! She’s like, “What’s it to ya?” and I’m dyin, man, she’s got attitude! Reminds me of that line, “You think you’re God?” from the flick—sassy, testin ya! I’m happy as hell, love a chick with fire, but then—bam!—some creep rolls up, yellin at her. Pissed me off, brother! Ain’t nobody messin with a lady on my watch!

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Then, I decide to check out the local shops on the Kerkstraat. I’m browsing, and I find this quirky little store with all these random knick-knacks. I see a tiny wooden shoe and think, “This is perfect for my collection!” But when I go to pay, my card gets declined. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, not today!” The cashier gives me this look, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly.

Taco van der Hoorn holds off peloton by just four seconds to take victory on stage three of the Giro d'Italia