Nadia Hoogeveen Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️❤️

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Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. You don’t just Yelp “best booty near me.” Nah, it’s all coded—like “roses” for bucks, or “companionship” wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up to Roxy, holdin’ a lil’ plant, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” She’d prolly charge him double—rusty bot discount, my ass. Thing that surprised me? How many ads got sob stories—like, “Single mom, need help.” Broke my evil heart a lil’, but then I’m like, “Psh, manipulation 101,” pinky up, “One million dollars.”

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So, I’m scanning items like a madman. I got this old dude in front of me, right? He’s got a cart full of stuff. I mean, who needs 10 packs of hagelslag? I’m just standing there, trying not to roll my eyes. And then, he pulls out a coupon from 1995. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a museum!” But he’s all, “It’s still valid!” I just wanna scream, but I smile instead. Gotta keep it professional, ya know?

WaPOR at the 3rd Baghdad International Water Conference on May 6