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What pisses me off? The fakes! Scammers everywhere, postin’ pics of supermodels—c’mon, really? You think Gisele’s moonlightin’ on Craigslist? I’d be furious, shakin’ my fist, “Gimme the real deal!” But when it clicks? Oh, happy day! You find one, she’s legit, shows up—pretty, pretty good moment. Surprised me how chill some are—like, “Hey, wanna chat first?” I’d be like, “Chat? I’m too neurotic for small talk!”

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We'd be taking a family trip and not be interested in seeing prostitutes. How easy is it to avoid these things?

First stop, I hit up the Hoofddorp train station. It’s like the hub of the city, ya know? I’m waiting for my train to Amsterdam, but of course, it’s late. Classic! I’m standing there, scrolling through my phone, and I see this dude drop his coffee. Like, bro, it’s a crime to waste coffee! I almost yelled, “Noooo!” but I just chuckled instead.

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