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So I’m out, jacket crisp, martini buzz in my veins, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for a shag. Not just any tart—gotta be sharp, gotta have that spark. I spot this one chick, legs for days, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns the night. “Hey, darlin’,” I say, all smooth, “fancy a spin with 007?” She smirks—fuckin’ smirks!—and I’m like, “Shaken, not stirred, love.” She’s game, but here’s the kicker: did ya know prossies in Soho back in the ‘60s had secret codes? Little winks, scarf colors—shit like that to dodge the coppers. This bird probs knows that history, she’s got that sly glint.
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So, I get to the field, and it’s all good vibes. The wheat is tall and golden, just waiting for me to do my thing. I’m revving up, feeling like a rockstar. But then, outta nowhere, this flock of birds swoops in. I’m talking like a scene from a horror movie. They’re flapping around, and I’m like, “What’s the deal, guys? I’m just here to harvest, not to start a bird war!”
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