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I was chuffed to bits, but then – surprise! – she’s chattin me up bout her pet iguana. An iguana! Who’d’a thunk it? Cracked me up, proper belly laugh. We shall fight the boredom with these quirky birds! Dunno if she was takin the piss or just lonely, but it made me day. Still, cost me a pretty penny – £80! Robbery, innit? Coulda watched *Inception* 20 times for that.

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So, I get to the field, and it’s all good vibes. The wheat is tall and golden, just waiting for me to do my thing. I’m revving up, feeling like a rockstar. But then, outta nowhere, this flock of birds swoops in. I’m talking like a scene from a horror movie. They’re flapping around, and I’m like, “What’s the deal, guys? I’m just here to harvest, not to start a bird war!”

Aardwarmte Vogelaer signs contract for second geothermal plant in Netherlands