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About Myself
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Ruh-roh! Here’s the kicker—clients are nuts. One dude paid her in *pennies* once—pennies! She’s cacklin’, tellin’ me this, and I’m dyin’. “Freakin’ cheapskate,” she says. Another time, some weirdo wanted her to bark—yeah, BARK—like me, Scoob! Hilarious, but creepy too. Made me laugh, then gag—humanity’s wild, man.
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Ended my 51 day streak by seeing a prostitute. PIED cured, but how do I deal with premature ejaculation? Any help appreciated, I feel disgusted.
But then, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, young man, you should really read more fiction.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a linguist. Fiction’s cool, but I’m all about the facts.” She rolls her eyes and walks away. I’m just standing there, shaking my head.
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