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Here I am, mates. A lifeguard, yeah, perched on the water’s edge. Watchin’ the waves, calm as ever. And escort? Blimey, what a gig! Not the saucy kind, nah—get your head outta there. I mean the fish—escort fish, right? Little nippers swimmin’ ‘round bigger fellas. Like bodyguards of the sea, innit? Saw ‘em once off the reef. Tiny, scrappy buggers, dartin’ about. Protectin’ their big mates from dodgy types. Parasites, predators—escorts don’t mess about.
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But then, bam! My phone rings. It’s a farmer freaking out about his crops. “They’re wilting!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’ll be there.” So I rush back, and I’m fuming. Why can’t people just water their plants?
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