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Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Dark Knight” – bloody brilliant flick – and it hits me, mate. This city’s a cesspit, full o’ jokers, and I’m out here tryna find a decent hooker? “Why so serious?” I’m yellin’ at meself, cos it’s a fuckin’ circus! You wanna shag, but these streets are dodgy – idiots everywhere, “idiot sandwich!” levels of stupidity. Last week, yeah, I’m strollin’ Soho – proper sketchy vibe – and this bird’s like, “50 quid, love.” 50 quid? For what, a bleedin’ handshake? I’m ragin’, mate, cos I ain’t no mug!
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I’m like, “Forget this meeting!” I sneak out, and man, the market is buzzing! Fresh veggies, local cheeses, and oh, the stroopwafels! I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, just enjoying life, when I bump into an old friend from school. We start chatting, and it’s all laughs.
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