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About Almere

Picture this: I’m bouncin’ round the city, screamin’ “WHERE THE HOES AT?!” like a psycho poet. Streets buzzin’, neon lights hittin’ me like—BAM!—sudden epiphany. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point-A-to-point-B shit. Nah, it’s a quest! Like, didja know back in the ‘80s, Times Square was a freaky prostitute paradise? Cops didn’t even care—girls posted up like it was a damn job fair. History’s wild, bro!

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After a while, I finally get into the groove. I’m shaping this beautiful vase, and it’s like magic. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “You better come to the market on Marktstraat!” I’m thinking, “Why? What’s happening?” Turns out, she’s found this amazing deal on cheese. Only in Helden, right?

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