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About Rotterdam

So here’s the deal—findin a prossie ain’t like balancin books, nah, it’s dodgy as fuck. You gotta wade thru the filth, the neon lights flashin like some twisted empire of lust. We shall fight the pimps, we shall fight the coppers, we shall fight the bleedin STDs creepin up yer trousers! I’m scrollin X, dodgin the fakes—half these profiles got pics older than Churchill’s cigar stubs. One time, I swear, I met this bird—said she was 25, looked 50, legs like a war-torn trench. Made me mad as a hatter—wasted me quid on that!

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So, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here! I’m like, “It’s coming, it’s coming!” But inside, I’m fuming. I mean, it’s not like I’m slacking off. I’m just trying to enjoy my morning coffee from that cute little café on the Hoofdstraat. You know the one? The one with the best apple pie? Ugh, I need that pie in my life right now.

CBS Urban Data Centre / Heerlen